my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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