He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
honey bunches of taint.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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