Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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