I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
last night I used snow as a chaser
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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