i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
