i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
