the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
