He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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