Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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