the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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