I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
