everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
