I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
