u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You did what with his pubic hair?
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