In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
