I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
