I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
