hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
