Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
