You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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