please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
