I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I can't put those talents on a resume
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The power of my boobs compel you
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
