Can i not drive my cunt home
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
