I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
