Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
it was like eating out sand paper
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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