On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
