your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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