Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
