Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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