She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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