I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
