so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
