Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
