oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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