don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize