Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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