I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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