I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
