Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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