I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
well I can't set my house on fire every night
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she pinky promised me she was 18
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
