Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
