He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
