White coat. Heels.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
