You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
