In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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