At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
