she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
