Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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