Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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