I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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